November 6, 2025

Betty’s Family

TRIGGER WARNING.

My mother, Betty, was born into a very large family. In which there was always a lot of drama. The story goes that my maternal great grandfather needed a cow. And he met a young man, aged 21, who wanted a wife. Great Grandpa just so happened to have a 13-year-old daughter. How serendipitous! And a swap was made! Mind you, this is my mother’s version of the story…we don’t just BELIEVE what my mother says…we’ll get into this more as we go along…

Over the years, 18 children would be born. But five would die in infancy. One would die at war. The remaining 12, including my mother, are the family that I grew up amongst.

As children, they were very poor. My grandfather was a chimney sweep. Grandma stayed home to care for the kids. The abuse in this home was real. Family legend has it that my oldest cousin is also my aunt; that my grandfather was intimate with all his daughters, he forced Grandma to be intimate with all her sons, and he even forced the children to be with each other. The physical and psychological abuse was also out of hand.

This happened in Oregon, in the 1950s. At that time, the State stepped in and removed the six youngest children, including my mom, from the home; placing them in foster care. Mind you, in the 1950s, the prevailing attitude was “mind your own business”. So, for the State to interfere, really speaks to how bad the abuse was in the home.

As an adult my mother was diagnosed as having Narcissistic and Histrionic Personality Disorders as well as Bipolar 1. She is also known to be a pathological liar. Whenever she opens her mouth, you ignore half of what she says as a lie; and take the other half with a grain of salt as to its veracity of truth. I believe this is a direct result of the abuse.